I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
