the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
