So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize