Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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