We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
