He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
