I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
