glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
