Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
