I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
