i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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