I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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