Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
