It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
