She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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