I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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