hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
