weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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