He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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