My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize
