we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
