At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
