oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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