If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
