just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
