Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
