apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
this just has baby written all over it
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You did what with his pubic hair?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
