it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
