It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
