we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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