so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
