is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So apparently I’m into choking now
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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