This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
