K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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