Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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