dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
