In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I can text with my tongue
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
