I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
