so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize