i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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