yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
