You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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