I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
