you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
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