what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
