ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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