Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
