Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
