Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
