So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
