My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
