i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
